Operation Wedding Dress Day 0

So my wonderful boyfriend of over 4 years proposed to me last Valentine's Day.  I should probably call him my fiance now...since I did say yes.  Anyway, I immediately went out and bought all sorts of planning books and magazines and I even bought a dress. Yep. I had only planned on trying on and scratching the itch but I wound up buying one. 
And that's all that we have ever done in regards to becoming Mr. And Mrs.  And that dress? It's sitting in my closet, just waiting.  I bought it in the sample size I tried on, knowing that I'd have to lose some weight and tone up for it to look good.  And I did lose a little, after I gained a little. But we don't have any immediate plans for matrimony so it hasn't been an issue, except the itch is back. 
We said we would get married "after the house is done."  And the house is finally starting to look like a house so it seems feasible that I might get a fall wedding, even though we haven't discussed the possibility at all.  Regardless, I am determined to look damn good when I finally get to don my wedding dress.  So I'm starting now. Just in case on our one year anniversary of being engaged we pick a date to get married. 
Operation wedding dress has begun.
As of this evening I weigh 155.4 lbs on my bathroom scale.
As of January 12th,
my bust was 35.5 inches
My waist at the skinniest part was 30.5 inches
My hips at the widest were 38.5 inches
My ass was 42.5 inches (baby got back or what?)
My thighs were about 24.5 inches each and my upper arms were 11.5.

That is where I started. Maybe I'll put in some pics tomorrow to show ya what all that actually looks like. This is where I want to go...

The other side

So, after going out shopping for a new front door for our house yesterday (which is beautiful by the way), Frank and I decided to get something to eat. We noticed that the new Olive Garden in Clifton Park had finally opened.  We decided to give it a try, even though Frank had a foreshadowing moment and said "it's either going to be really good, or really bad."  Boy he had no clue what we were about to get ourselves into.  
First of all, the waitress was a young girl wearing so much make-up that she was shiny.  Also she was wearing a wig (which me and Frank argued about for our entire meal) which was horrendously ugly.  Now, don't get me wrong, this girl was sweet as pie...I mean she was honestly so, so nice. But she was dumb as a box of rocks, and had NO business being a waitress. She had 2 tables and both were empty when we were seated.  Shortly after we sat down, a family of 4 sat at her other table right next to ours.  She started out ok, getting us drinks and bringing us breadsticks.  Then she spilled the wine on the table, and instead of acknowledging it and cleaning it, she put a coaster on top of it... I was like huh?  What the hell was that?  Then we got our salad after about 5 minutes.  The salad was great. We ate the whole bowl of it.  Then the waitress comes over, after the table next to us has already gotten their entrees and says "what did you order? You got the tilapia right?" Uh no. I got this and he got that. "So you didn't want the tilapia?" Uh. Still no. Then she walks away. She doesn't take our empty salad plates or wine glasses.  I just look at Frank and say You know that means that she didn't even put our food in yet... so we sat there and waited for another 10 to 15 minutes for our food. Mine wasn't right.  But we kept it.  She didn't check on us at all.  We ate our food then got a dessert.  Then she brought the check.  But forgot our mints.  At least she forgot to charge us for the cheesecake.  Oh, and we did get our mints before we left. 

The day I dropped my phone in the toilet.

I never use the bathroom at work. And by never I mean maybe like 1 to 2 times a week. At most.

I also don't drink alcohol at work. Well, sometimes I'd like to, but I need this job so I wouldn't actually take that past the daydreaming level. 

Anyway, due to these 2 factors I found it absolutely astonishing that I actuallyy dropped my cellphone into the toilet while I was at work. 

I mean, I've never dropped my phone in the toilet, and I've been plenty drunk plenty enough times to have had ample opportunity to do so.  So imagine my surprise when dead sober I hear that telltale *plunk* of something important and expensive getting a rather uncalled for bath. 

Thankfully all of this occurred during the shimmy your booty out of your pants process and not the shimmy them back on process, but it still took me a couple of seconds to actually process the fact that I was going to have to stick my hand into the faculty bathroom to retrieve said phone from its new location.

Ok. Yes. I put my bare hand into a toilet that countless asses have sat upon.  Then I frantically started drying it off with toilet paper and paper towels.  Then I realized that I had to get the snap on case off to get the battery out.

The snap on case that I can't get off without.using.my.teeth.  I tried so hard to pry that damn thing off with my nonexistant fingernails.  Everything in the room became a potential tool.  Nothing was working and I knew that I had to get the battery out of the phone.

So I used my teeth.

Please don't judge me. I brushed them really really good when I got home. It was a $200 phone. 

So I took it all apart and dried it the best I could. And I looked online to see what the hell I'm supposed to do with a dripping wet phone.  Then I took it home and put it in a baggie full of brown rice for 24 hours.  It didn't say to use brown rice on the internet but that's what I had so I figured it would have to work.

When I put it all back together and turned it on I was so happy that the screen lit up and it vibrated. Then it went blank, but the power light was still on.  I kept trying to get it to do anything at all. Nothing. 

I did not put toilet water in my mouth for NOTHING! So I threw the stpid f-ing thing in the dryer with my clothes for a half hour.  Take that.  And guess what?!

It works now. So I guess the moral of the story is if you drop your phone in the toilet and the rice thing doesn't work and you didn't want to do the whole toilet water in your mouth thing for absolutely so reason, put your phone in the clothes dryer.  Because that's what last resorts are for. 

Waitressing Rant

So as many people know, I am a waitress at a local restaurant. Tonight I had a woman come in and knew as soon as I saw her that she was going to be a Pain In the Ass [PIA].  Every single time that I have waited on her in the past, which has always been on a Sunday or Monday evening, she has complained about at least one thing. Every.stinking.time. It pisses me off.  Why do you continue to come to a restaurant if all you ever do there is complain?  I knew as soon as I came over to her table and she said in her I'm better than you voice "Oh.  We didn't think we'd ever see a waitress..."  I automatically thought oh... I remember you, you smug PIA.  I know you're game. So when she asked me about a certain entree, I was honest, telling her its flaws and was happy to have her order something else that she claimed to have had before and to have enjoyed.  Then before I can even get her soup, she changes her order to the entree that I basically just told her not to get.  WTF!  Are you trying to irritate me?  So I bring out her entree and surprise surprise, she's not happy. Well no shit asshole. I knew you weren't going to be, you never are.  I didn't even offer to change her order or discount it, knowing that this is her game, I just kind of said "Oh, that's interesting..." and didn't argue with her when she said she should've gotten what she originally ordered. Duh! I knew that. She ate it anyway and took her leftovers home so it couldn't have been that bad.

My question is this:  Do you ever complain when out to a restaurant if you just don't like something you thought would be interesting to try? Is that not the point of trying new foods...to find out whether or not you like them?  Would you continue to go to the same restaurant on a fairly regular basis (twice a month at least) if you complained everytime you went there?  Do you think this woman knows that we argue over who has to wait on her because she's such a PIA?  What do you think?

Weekend

Our weekend in photos. Working on the house...tearing off siding and walls and finally putting in another new window. Hanging out with the pups. Admiring a beautiful camaro for sale, while Frank contemplates trading his house for it. It was a beautiful weekend.

Dear Kitty Cats

Dear Kitty Cats,

     Please stop bringing me dead mice....and leaving them on the stoop.  I know the economy is bad, and we don't have a lot of money however, we are not that bad off.  I am not yet starving.  We have plenty of perfectly acceptable food in the cupboards and the fridge.  Furthermore, even though it is currently cold outside, the dirty sidewalk is not an appropriate location for food storage.  I mean honestly, the dog pees there everyday!  And the dirt and gunk that gets tracked through there is unthinkable.  Also, I'm not even sure you like the taste of mice, seeing as how you very seldom eat them yourselves.  And then when you do, you immediately come into the house and barf their little organs all over my floors.  Or my table.  Or.my.BED. This does not make the prospect of consuming them seem good at all.  So, in summary, we are not poor enough to eat something that you left out in the dirt all night, especially if it is something that you yourselves seem to have such a hard time keeping down.  And also, if you continue to bring me these  so called "presents," I am going to insist that you marinate them properly and saute them in a little butter. 

Love,
Crystal

P.S.  The gifts I prefer are diamonds and pearls so if you could bring some of those home I would be much appreciative.  <3